Welcome to Close Combat Series
  Login or Register Home  ·  Downloads  ·  Forums  ·  Combat Camera  ·  Help  

  Survey
Are abandoned vehicles and guns lost or captured?

Lost
Captured
Lost if Captured



Results
Polls

Votes 200
Comments: 1

  Shout Box!!

Only registered users can shout. Please login or create an account.

  Main Menu
Articles & News  
    Help
    Player`s News
    Site News
    Multiplayer
    Terrain Challenge
    Boot Camp
Community  
    Forums
    Downloads
    Combat Camera
    MOOXE @ Youtube
    Statistics
Members  
    Private Messages
    Your Account
    Logout

  Donations
Anonymous - $15.00
04/09/2021

Anonymous - $100.00
04/05/2021

Anonymous - $20.00
02/20/2021

Anonymous - $10.00
12/29/2020

Anonymous - $1.00
11/06/2020

ZAPPI4 - $20.00
10/10/2020

ZAPPI4 - $20.00
10/10/2020

__Creeper__ - $10.00
07/08/2020

Bazookajoe - $25.00
06/02/2020

Pete - $25.00
04/11/2020

Find our site useful? Make a small donation to show your support.



Search for at
Close Combat Series Advanced Search


 Author
Message
 
ANZAC_Tack

Rep: 22.3
votes: 1


PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:36 am Post subject: shocking news Reply with quote

i got a zap at work from a welder, and i get home, and misses sends me this email....

bet u cant NOT laugh

(its close to how i neally pissed my self with the .22 in customs)

but anyhow, i just got back from hospital(all ok,just in mild shock,sore chest and arms,EKG all ok),i became part of the 'circuit' of a High frequency tig welder today for 1/2 a second,both hands became + and -,thus i shook like a punk at a sex pistols concert on speed, could not release grip till i threw my arms down,then proceded to scream like a bitch.this story could not of arrived at a more funny time, i feel 100% empathy. boar u may laugh back and remind me every few weeks if u wish....though not as funny as u did gone dune...i still giggle weekly over it..sorry mate...

:
"Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his
lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100
000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed
to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant,
allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the but ton.
Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the
face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy,
thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A
batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit
I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought
better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this
thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some
assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses
perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
Tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a
major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make
your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking
at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A
batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is
almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side
as to say, 'don't do it dipsh!t,' reasoning that a one second burst from
such a tiny little ol' thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give
myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . .
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure The Hulk ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in
my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be
found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and
tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a
picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid
getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note
of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap
yourself!
You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be
considered conservative?

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that
point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed
the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally
was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88
lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I **** myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of
smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came
from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant
reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'"


espree de corp
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
 
Juanboy55




PostPosted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL LOL Hi very new here but had to try not laffing, I failed. It's a pity the guy didn't have the presence of mind to make a video of the "experiment" I bet it woulda been a big hit on youtube.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
 
Tippi-Simo

Rep: 53.1
votes: 5


PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought that happened to you!
Crazy story though.

Edit: hello Juan and welcome amigo!


"Du talar dalig svenska, men du är bra i sängen"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
 
ANZAC_Lord4war

Rep: 3.5


PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:14 am Post subject: mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Reply with quote

lol yer i knew it wasnt Tack once i read he used on himself while there was a cat in the room.
got tazered 3 times last time i got arrested,and still managed not to co-operate.
as painful as it is i still find mace more annoying with a pain that just doesnt let off.
well if u get half a can in ur face at close range from a pissed off copper.
i hate seeing people co-operate after being tazered i have no respect for them,there the ones who should cop an extra zap for being so keen one second and surrendering the next.


Forget words,actions will show your true ambitions!The Battlefield,In many cases, the terrain of a battlefield can be the best resource a commander has. A clump of trees, an abandoned house, or a drainage ditch can all be powerful tools in the right hands
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
 
Tippi-Simo

Rep: 53.1
votes: 5


PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:45 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

^ what you did mate?
I have been handcuffed by policie couple of times but never tazered.


"Du talar dalig svenska, men du är bra i sängen"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
 
ANZAC_Tack

Rep: 22.3
votes: 1


PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 6:08 am Post subject: Reply with quote

ur right lordy, the cat would of been fried in seconds, hate the mongrels....

what the hell have u been doing? where u been? whats up bloke?


espree de corp
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
 
 
Post new topicReply to topic printer-friendly view Close Combat Series Forum Index -> The Mess


 
   
 


Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum




Forums ©





In August of 2004, Zappi, Homba, Bambam887, RedScorpion and MOOXE all pitched
in to create this Close Combat site. I would to thank all the people who have visited and
found this site to thier liking. I hope you had time to check out some of the great Close Combat
mods and our forums. I'd also like to thank all the members of our volunteer staff that have
helped over the years, and all our users that contributed to this site!