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Do incapacitations count as a soldier's kills?

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Message
 
pvt_Grunt

Rep: 94.1
votes: 5


PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:22 am Post subject: Security Levels Reply with quote

I got this in an email - thought I'd pass it on..

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.          

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.    

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".      

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".    

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies "just in case".
Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defence cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
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QM

Rep: 49.4


PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:44 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Bugger me!!  It's called Strine.   Thats about as funny as ya chooks turning into emus and kickin the dunny door down!


Cancel the barbie?  Piss off ya poofta!


Nah...she'll be right cobber!  Baz McKenzie 'll fix it mate.

Laughing


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mooxe

Rep: 214.8
votes: 25


PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:19 pm Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

pvt_Grunt wrote (View Post):
Canada doesn't have any alert levels.


Its true.


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mooxe

Rep: 214.8
votes: 25


PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 10:15 pm Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Reminded me of this email I meant to post...

This is for pzjager!

Legendary  quotes on France


' France has  neither winter nor summer nor morals.  Apart from these  drawbacks it is a fine country.  France has usually been  governed by prostitutes.'

Mark  Twain

------------------------------

'I would rather  have a German division in front of me than a French one behind  me.'

General George S.  Patton

------------------------------

'Going to war  without France is like going deer hunting without your  accordion.'

Norman  Schwartzkopf

------------------------------

'We can  stand here like the French, or we can do something about  it.'

Marge  Simpson

------------------------------

'As far as  I'm concerned, war always means failure.'

Jacques Chirac,  President of  France

------------------------------

'The only  time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting  in Paris sipping coffee.'

Regis  Philbin

------------------------------

'You know,  the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was  still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for  it.'

John McCain , U.S. Senator  from Arizona

------------------------------

'The  last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching  into Paris under a German flag.'

David  Letterman

------------------------------

'Only thing  worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives  in Canada .'

Ted  Nugent

------------------------------

'War  without France would be like .. World War  II.'

Unknown

------------------------------

'The  favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First  Iraq , then France .''

Tom  Brokaw

------------------------------

'What do you  expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will  fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the  Nazis?'

Dennis  Miller

------------------------------

'It is  important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed  us.'

Alan  Kent

-----------------------------

'They've taken  their own precautions against al-Qa'ida.   To prepare for an attack, each  Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of  mistresses in the  house.'

Argus Hamilton

------------------------------

'Somebody  was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay  the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped  once.''

Rep. Roy Blunt,  MO

-----------------------------

'The French will  only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles  in Iraq '

Dennis  Miller

------------------------------

Q. What did  the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city  in WWII?

A. Table for 100,000  m'sieur?

-----------------------------

'Do you know  how many Frenchmen it takes to defendParis ?  It's not known, it's never been  tried.'

Rep. R. Blount,  MO

------------------------------

'Do you know it  only took Germany three days to conquer France in  WWII?   And that's  because it was raining.'

John Xereas, Manager, DC  Improv

------------------------------

French Ban  Fireworks at Euro Disney

(AP), Paris , March 5,  2003

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a  ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a  nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside  of Paris , caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to  surrender to a group of Czech tourists.


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Therion

Rep: 27.4
votes: 4


PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:15 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Didn't France, like get defeated because its best forces charged into Belgium to save their allies asses and then got cut off when Germans attacked through the Ardennes forest?
Also, why aren't there any jokes about Brits running away from Dunquerke?


Wonderland - my mod for Armored Brigade

Killing for peace is like fucking for orgasm.
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Stwa

Rep: 308.9
votes: 16


PostPosted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:40 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Because, apparently in English versions of History, getting kicked off a continent, withour your equipment and vehcles, is considered a GREAT VICTORY!.
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Superkala

Rep: 5.1
votes: 2


PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 5:39 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Dunkirk can be considered a success because several hundred thousand troops were pulled out from a hopeless situation when they would have been totally destroyed and\or captured otherwise. Considering neither US nor russia was in the war at that time, UK couldnt afford to go down further in manpower than they already were.
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Blackstump

Rep: 24.5
votes: 1


PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:41 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

heres what google says about great french military victories
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html


"percute et percute velociter"
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Dauphin

Rep: 12.2
votes: 1


PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:52 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

and do a true google with Pervitin
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schrecken

Rep: 195
votes: 15


PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 7:21 pm Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

And


We all know the "mission accomplished" speech.... or weren't some of us born then 'cause the beat goes on.
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Therion

Rep: 27.4
votes: 4


PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 8:11 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

Superkala wrote (View Post):
Dunkirk can be considered a success because several hundred thousand troops were pulled out from a hopeless situation when they would have been totally destroyed and\or captured otherwise. Considering neither US nor russia was in the war at that time, UK couldnt afford to go down further in manpower than they already were.

Success isn't the same as victory.

Anyway, the French jokes piss me off because they promote ignorance of history.
I just love how people ignore that French actually moved most of their best forces to Allied countries to defend them from German invasion and assume that since soldiers from reserve divisions panicked and ran away, then all French soldiers were cowards.


Wonderland - my mod for Armored Brigade

Killing for peace is like fucking for orgasm.
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Blackstump

Rep: 24.5
votes: 1


PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 7:58 am Post subject: Re: Security Levels Reply with quote

I think the " barbie might be cancelled" in FNQ this weekend Grunt. Cyclone Yassie may be the biggest storm ever to hit Queensland. Catergory 5 with wind gusts to 350 klm... snags wont stay on the plate in that shit..


"percute et percute velociter"
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